


Where my skin begins

by wemightfall



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wemightfall/pseuds/wemightfall
Summary: Cat had build up high walls to protect herself from getting hurt but little by little Kara Danvers had teared them all down.





	Where my skin begins

_ show me where my amor ends, show me where my skin begins _

 

It took a long time working together for Cat to realize it for the first time. But not because she realized it herself, but because of Leslie Willis of all people. She could still hear her voice in her head, repeating the same question over and over.  _ “Why is she different?”   _ And Cat didn't know the answer. Not really. She would have cared somewhat had Leslie insulted someone else like that. But not this much. She tried to push the feeling away and tried not to think about it. Especially if she was right about her assumption that her assistant was indeed Supergirl. Because that would mean she cared too much about one person instead of two and she couldn't do that.

The only person Cat has really cared about in the last years was Carter. She didn't even know anymore how to be close with anyone else. But yet her assistant seemed to have found a way to get a place in her heart. And the more time she spend with her, the more she cared about her. This needed to end. Boundaries. Setting boundaries. That was a good idea.

  
  


Unfortunately that good idea really didn't help quite as much when Kara was concerned. It wasn't that she wouldn't respect her boundaries. She did. But sometimes she would try to push Cat in the right direction. Like when she wrote a letter to Adam. Which was awful at first but helpful in the end. And Cat was thankful. She never thought she would have the chance to really get to know her other son. And thanks to Kara she could. The problem with that was only that it didn't help with trying not to care for her. Or others. She was scared if Adam would decide not to want to talk to her anymore it would crush her. But so far he hadn't. So far he stayed. 

Sometimes Cat would catch herself asking Kara questions about her personal life, because she was so intrigued with the other woman. She was like a drug and Cat wanted more. She could feel her inner walls crumble, ready to tell her everything about everything. If only to see Kara smile one more time.

She tried to distance herself, she really did. But she couldn't. She kept getting closer to Supergirl and Kara every day. Walls crumbling. Cat was scared that in the end she would have nothing else to do but to pick up the pieces. But for now, she let it happen.

Kara didn't seem to mind their relationship getting more personal, sometimes it seemed to Cat like she even craved it. Lines blurred and Cat didn't know what drawer Kara fitted into anymore. Her assistant seemed to like it. But for Cat, it was just confusing.

Of course she knew why. She knew how traumatized her childhood left her. She knew that was why she tried to keep people at arm lengths. And her therapist kept on encouraging her to actually let people close for once, to let them see who she really was. But Cat was still too scared of what could happen. Even after all these years.

  
But with Kara she didn't even have to try. No matter how cold or hard or shut off she was, Kara could see right through her. Saw the caring, kind person underneath. Cat had no idea how she did it.  


Another wall crumbling. Cat loved hugging Kara. It felt like home. And she thought about telling her that, (another wall down), but instead she hugged her tighter, already sad she would have to let go at some point.

Kara kept pushing her outside of what a professional work relationship should look like. But that wasn't really what Cat cared about. More how many walls Kara had already destroyed. There weren't many left anymore.

She had promoted her. Technically she was still her boss of course but not directly. Also she didn't see her all day anymore, which hurt more than she was willing to admit. It was for the best that way, Kara had deserved the promotion and it would be a little less weird for them to be so close.

Cat had thought about Kara a lot. Walls crumbling. No more walls left. She wanted nothing more than to be close to her, so she invited Kara to dinner, watched movies with her and went to drink coffee with her.

Cat didn't know what any of this meant. Was this a friendship? She didn't know. But the fact that she wanted this to be more than that scared her. So much. She finally allowed herself to care and now here she was. Afraid to get rejected. Afraid she would build up all her walls again. Although she thought she would try to keep them down. But this wasn't easy.

It was a friday evening, they were watching another movie as it happened. As they just looked at each other and kissed. And Cat felt like she was home.

Cat was scared, scared of screwing this up, scared of getting hurt. But she tried not to let that stop her from caring. Kara was clearly scared as well. Of hurting her. But she tried her best to keep Cat safe.

Sometimes Cat felt like her heart was made of glass. As if it would shatter if anything would happen. Which was weird, because she usually considered herself to be a very strong woman. She could get through anything. But Kara had showed her human connection, love and most of all happiness, like she had never seen it before. She didn't just want to get through something anymore. She was in love with life. It was even more addicting than Kara's kisses.

Cat would trust that Kara would try her best to keep her heart safe. But she knew, even if it all went to hell, her walls were gone. She was finally able to breathe. To care. She was finally free.  


  
_you are an artist and your heart is your masterpiece and I’ll keep it safe_  



End file.
